Untitled (Work In Progress)

I've heard that if you look close enough into the eyes of another person you will see the faintest flicker of light. Science will tell you that this is simply the refraction of light off of the back of the cornea, but until you have starred into eyes as beautiful as her's were you wouldn't understand that what you are seeing can't be explained with science, it is purely spiritual.
I will never forget the first time I saw her. Her blonde hair was the first thing that caught my attention as I walked into the Seattle penthouse that night, it flowed across her shoulders and down her back like a golden waterfall. Slightly curled, it bounced as she walked across the room in a bright green dress, that shinned in the light that was falling from the ceiling as if it where following her every move. The truth was however, it wasn't the light following her, it was me, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I watched her as she made her way around the party, the smiles she gave people as she shook hands with the guests, the way she threw her head back to laugh at people's jokes or when she had received a compliment that made her blush.
All of a sudden she began to walk towards me, my eyes still locked on her as she moved past one of the servers, removing a glass of champagne from his tray without stopping. Suddenly, there she was standing right in front of me. I froze as she tilted her head slightly to the left and looked me straight in the eyes. I panicked, how would I explain myself? So many things went through my head at that moment that I found it impossible to speak. She had me speechless, and that is when I saw it, that flicker. She had golden brown eyes that seemed deeper than anything I had ever seen, as if within them could have been the entire universe.
She raised her eyebrows and said something that I missed. I shook myself out of the trance and she said it again, the words I will never forget, "Have you missed me?" It took me a second to respond. I was caught off guard by the strange question "Sorry", I was stumbling over my own words, "Do I know you?"
"It would certainly seem like it, the way you have been starring at me all night, or perhaps you always stare at strangers with those eyes."
I'm sorry?
"as if you are trying to remember them from somewhere." she said.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to, it's just that, just that you look so. . ." she quickly interrupted, "beautiful, familiar, strange, well, which one is it?"
I was lost for words, it isn't until you are face to face with perfection that you realize there are no words to describe exactly how you feel, how can someone so flawed possibly say the right things about someone so perfect.

To be continued. . .

The Typewriter (The Swiss Numerical System)

Yesterday I bought a typewriter at a yard sale, ten dollars. I brought it home and for the next hour or so I took it apart and made all the adjustments it needed to work again. It is in perfect condition; seafoam green, vintage pre-1970 at least. The thing weighs at least forty pounds. It is fabulous and I love it. My Swiss made Hermes 3000. Upon inspection I noticed something odd, this typewriter did not have a number one key. Not that it was missing, it seems to have been built without one. I began to think, maybe the Swiss don’t have a number one. I mean some countries are different. Then I thought, how would this work? Like an off shoot of Roman Numerals perhaps. Twelve would be a six next to a six.(i.e 66) That wouldn’t be sixty six though. Sixty six would be 33 next to 33.(i.e. 3333) It’s reasonable, and I’ve worked it out. As impractical as it seems it always works. I was satisfied with the fact that I had discovered something; something very profound in my opinion. My Swiss made typewriter without a number one key, because the Swiss don’t have a number one.

Polish Zoo Buys Gay Elephant

Homosexuality in animals is apparently completely normal; however a Polish conservative thinks the zoo should have made a better choice. "We didn't pay 37 million zlotys for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there," said Michal Grzes, Reuters reported last Friday.
Personally I find the idea of sex and something like an Elephant to be absolutely hilarious, but well dressed Elephants and lots of "trunk play" puns make it that much better!

Shick Ads Are A Little Odd!

This is the second one of these ads that I have seen. They always make me uncomfortable for some reason. . . I wait I know why. It's because of all these ladies putting sharp gardening tools around their lady parts. Am I the only one that sees a problem with this? It's downright scary! You can find the others on Youtube.

Thanks Geekologie for the news!

Playboy Names 55 Most Important People In Sex!

Playboy.com has ranked the 55 most influential people in sex. Hit the link in the title and see who was number one. Hint: He writes this blog!
"We had quite a response to our January list of the 55 most important people in sex from the past 55 years, which you can read below. In fact, we’re running nearly four pages of letters in the April issue."- Playboy.com

Caution: Link may be NSFW!!!

Same Sex Marriage Responsible For Deforestation!

Just one more example of the ridiculous amount of "red tape" that same sex couples in the United States are having to go through. With the new addition of Iowa passing the same sex bill I think it is time that we honestly approach the issue as a nation. Change will come whether some people like it or not.

". . .without all the cumbersome and repetitive paperwork same-sex couples now have to complete just to prove they are committed to each other, think of all the forests that could be left standing."
-Huffington Post

Ants in the Amazon have Stopped Having Sex!

A species of Ants has been found in the amazon that stopped having sex: "The ants reproduce via cloning - the queen ants copy themselves to produce genetically identical daughters." The ants have created a society of all female ants, "This species - the first ever to be shown to reproduce entirely without sex - cultivates a garden of fungus, which also reproduces asexually."

-Article from BBC News Website

There can only be one Prolific Writer blog.

I just now discovered that there is another "Prolific Writer". He has apparently had the blog since July of 2008 which is great since I have had mine since December of 2007. I guess that means that I win, or does it? Will this turn into an epic battle of who named who's blog what and when? I certainly hope not. We will simply have to battle this out prolifically to truly see which writer turns out to be the most "Prolific" and thus the "Last Blogger Standing." - or the loser changes his name.

Over the next few days. . .

I promise I will get all of my writing up. I am so picky about what I publish. This blog is supposed to help me get over that, we'll see.

Ode To Maddow

Rachel Rachel Late Night News
An Easy Choice For The Smart To Choose
Leading The Way With The Corporate Shuns
And Ever So Quick With The "Tea bagging" Puns

Her Journalistic Powers Cannot Be Contained.
There's No "Zone Free Of Spin" That Could Soil Her Name.
Rachel O' Rachel So Glad That You Came
Just Try Not To Steal All Of Olberman's Fame
-By Brandon Christian

P.S. Love you too Keith.